Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
