I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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