His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
