i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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