piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
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