i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
