you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize