Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
