Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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