I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
