the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize