people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
