watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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