But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
