Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Just fell off a train. Bad.
this just has baby written all over it
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
