O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Randomize