the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Randomize
