found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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