At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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