I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
