Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
