i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
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