but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize