dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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