Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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