It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
