Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
