i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
