why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
