just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
