Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
