How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
