Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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