its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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