My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
