Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
We had sex on a dog bed..
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
