Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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