Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
My ATM looks so different sober.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
