I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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