and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
