Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
