playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
