Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
