i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize
