so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
