So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
