One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
