you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
