This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
