I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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