and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
