I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
