You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
