Already got asked if we're dating
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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