As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
