her vagine was all disorganized.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
