38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
My vagina is officially offended.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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