hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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