mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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