So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
