i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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