butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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