He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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