weddingsv make me drug and hornr
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I am full of burrito and curiosity
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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