dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
