If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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