I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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