Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I'm like, not good at living.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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